A fervent sea pounds the shoreline spreading foam and detritus onto the shore. Safely away from its wrath the high-street prepares to bustle, the smell of fish and chips permeates the air whilst the warm sun rising in an opalescent sky is tempered by a cool breeze. This could be any sunny climate country and you’d be forgiven for thinking, just for a moment, that you were far away from the dark wet mornings, the surge of the commute and overcast skies of the UK.
The North East of England and the small seaside town where I live has many places of outstanding beauty and whilst time is removing the last vestiges of its mining past, the cold metal mining wheel, left in tribute to the toil and sacrifice of generations provides a stunning scene overlooking the sea. Even industry can provide beauty. Today the mines no longer operate however their links to the community remain strong and the sense of pride from the mines, rightfully so, is still evident.
My digression into a description of the North East serves a purpose in this article. I was born in Easington, County Durham and moved to the South East by parents seeking the opportunities promised by the South. Fortunately we always had relatives here and the connection to the area remained despite the 260 miles that separated us.
It took me approximately 40 years to return, this time with my own family, a return to where I left with my parents so many years ago, now it was me, my wife and children returning.
I saw a lecture recently where the speaker was talking about upbringing and how whatever background you had, be it good or bad, there was no issue in letting it show through your photography. Which made me wonder why I photograph what I do and why I made the life choices I did.
I had a privileged upbringing, a stable home in an affluent area with opportunities presented to me at every stage of my life; horse riding, violin and guitar lessons, a school with an excellent reputation and a holiday abroad every year, yet each and every opportunity I squandered and took for granted at the time. So that left me wondering why. Why did I pass up opportunities that many people would love to have and why in my photography am I so keen to seek out the forgotten, neglected and ignored? Why am I not favouring pictures of beautiful majestic landscapes which are very easy to find in the Northeast of England?
I do take the “beautiful” landscape and nature shot but I am always drawn back to showing the neglected, the damaged, broken and ignored and often these pictures are tinged with the melancholy – the person standing alone, a tribute left to remember a loved one departed.
For me, a large part of growing up in an affluent area was all about image, it was instilled into me from a young age that the worth or success of a person was based largely on appearance. Do they have tattoos? Piercings? Where do they live? What do their parents do? Friendships as well as my own appearance had to pass a strict vetting with a plethora of criteria of which how one presented oneself was a very important facet of satisfying “what will other people think?”
Looking back at my life choices I did try to fit into the mould that was expected (or should I say wanted) for me and I have to add that my parents did have the best of intentions behind their actions – they wanted the best for their child. Unfortunately my efforts to be this person ended in me quitting, giving up or moving on from the opportunity presented to me.
I’ll cut out a large section of my life which really serves no purpose to this piece but suffice to say it contains numerous examples of me trying and failing to fit into a mould that was set for me, either by parental design or my interpretation of what I thought was wanted.
The numerous life choices led me on a path which ended up with me joining the Metropolitan Police where I served for approximately 14 years. The choice made I now believe because of “what will others think” but not in a way that would bolster my image in anyone else’s eyes. Looking back I think it was a decision taken as a protest to that statement, the Met didn’t have a good reputation compared to other Police Services I could have applied for and that reputation in my view has become progressively worse over the years, culminating in the issues its got today. My joining I think, was the beginning of me saying “f*** you” to my social circle holding such importance in image, although at the time I didn’t know it. Its taken me 8 years since leaving to start being open online as my sense of shame for being part of the Met and the allegations against it, only now has reduced to a point I can begin to feel comfortable talking about it. Strange that now when I do feel ready to talk, the Met is under special measures and receiving some of the worst criticism and damning indictments its ever had. This article however will not be delving into my service with the Met, that is for another time but suffice to say when I was presented with an opportunity to escape I took it with both hands, ultimately resulting in a return to the North East.
I wonder how many people look at TV adverts of a perfectly behaved family around a dinner table, all sharing and taking delight in the little things of life. I wonder how many people try to model their family around the fakery that is what they call advertising. Life is not like that but there are many who believe it is and will try to tell you its true of theirs. How often do you hear the words “behind closed doors”, social media has provided the perfect medium for people to present the image they want – we all should know that behind the happy smiles and descriptions of all the exciting things going on in their life, the reality can be very different. It seems the “what will other people think” manifests itself in pictures of wine glasses on a table on holiday, smiling faces holding alcohol up to the camera showing what a great time they are having – or is the purpose of their posts saying “look at me, I’ve made it in life, I’m having a great time on holiday”?
When the figurative young person gets top of the class and their parents plaster it over social media, who is the post for? Is this a celebration of achievement or a search for validation from other parents that they have done well bringing up their children?
Since so many people take wealth (alleged or real) as somehow being directly related to the worth of a person and their happiness, many people I have observed strive to portray this image. Social media allows people to do this very effectively with some running their social media akin to a PR campaign – they cant be blamed, we live in a world where you can hear an advert on the radio asking for donations to relieve poverty, followed by an advert selling an alcoholic beverage containing flakes of gold. We live in a society where greed, superficiality and apathetic indifference to those in need is not brushed under the carpet, its actively encouraged and even blame apportioned to people in need, be it they could work harder, get promoted or seek employment elsewhere to improve their lot in life. None of these represent reality but I think its a way for many of the “haves” to justify their indifference to the last vestiges of their conscience and humanity as to the needs of the “have nots”.
So we return to the question of my preference of photography subject and to answer that I think it comes down to appearances. Just how a veneer of fakery was put on display in order to satisfy the “what will other people think” I have become keen to show the parts of life that people want to remain hidden, in the coastal towns around the country its the diametrically opposed bright lights of the seafront with the fun, laughter and holiday atmosphere to the neglected streets and lack of government funding a short walk away, the part tourists and visitors don’t see and in doing this I am saying, “this is the real me”, I’m imperfect and slightly broken, I wont comply and I’m not ashamed.
Do I have regrets? Absolutely not, even my time in the Metropolitan Police served a purpose, in having that experience I was able to achieve a peace with my life, a realisation that striving to achieve the wishes of others is not a route to happiness. Greed, selfishness and belief in ones own self importance are damaging things. The fear of “what will others think” has no power over me. I am that tattooed person who had the piercings.
Tim Wilson 
Leave a comment